One of the most important movies of my childhood was The Karate Kid. What a fantastic story of overcoming adversity and dealing with bullying. It’s also a tale of stepping way outside your comfort zone, whether that means starting over across the country or learning to fight back without becoming the very thing you’re fighting.
And let’s be honest: Joe Esposito’s “You’re The Best” playing during the karate tournament montage might have been the most incredible thing my childhood brain had ever heard. That song still hits.
(Go ahead… give it a watch… you know you want to)
Now that my kids are a little older I enjoy spending the time to introduce them to movies from my childhood and recently we watched The Karate Kid. Not just for nostalgia, but to use them as teaching tools. My kids get to see them with fresh eyes, and I get to watch the moments that spark and connect with them.
There’s one scene in The Karate Kid that is still pivotal for me today. Right after Daniel gets jumped at the Halloween party and Mr. Miyagi steps in to save him, something unexpected happens. Miyagi agrees to train him, but instead of teaching him how to fight, Daniel is handed a to-do list of chores:
Sand the deck
Wax on, wax off
Paint the fence
Paint the house
For four straight days, Daniel works himself to the bone with no explanation. And yet, he sticks with it. He trusts Mr. Miyagi, even though nothing makes sense. My kids watching that scene were confused. “Why is he just doing chores?” they asked.
"Just keep watching."
Then came the moment. Mr. Miyagi throws a punch, and Daniel instinctively blocks it. Every motion, trained. Every movement, ingrained. My seven-year-old son saw it and said, “Ohhhhhh...”
The lightbulb had clicked on.
Coaching, Parenting, and the Challenge of Trust
I’ve coached baseball for years, and I’m pretty sure no kid I’ve ever coached would blindly trust me like that for four straight days of chorus without asking me how this related to making them better at baseball! My own kids definitely wouldn’t. They challenge everything! Chip off the old block.
But that’s the point. Trust is hard. It always has been. And in today’s world, it might be harder than ever. People are quick to let us down. The noise is louder, attention is shorter, and commitments feel flimsier.
So how do we build it?
Whether you're a coach, a parent, a teammate, or a leader, here are five things I’ve learned about building trust.
Five Ways to Build Trust (Even When It’s Hard)
1. Consistency Over Time
Show up. Again and again.
People believe what you do, not what you say. Daniel kept showing up for Miyagi, and Miyagi kept showing up for Daniel.
2. Transparency and Vulnerability
Say the quiet part out loud.
Mr. Miyagi didn’t explain everything at the start. But when he finally did, he didn’t just show the lesson. He shared the purpose behind it.
3. Keep Small Promises
Big trust is built from small keeps.
It wasn’t a grand gesture that built their bond. It was one stroke at a time. One lesson at a time. “Wax on. Wax off.”
4. Seek Understanding First
Listen to understand, not to reply.
Trust grows when people feel heard. Even when Daniel pushed back, Mr. Miyagi let him feel frustrated, then showed him why it mattered.
5. Hold the Long View
Trust grows over time and builds on itself.
It took time, but the results were life-changing. The best things usually are.
A Final Reflection
Trust is fragile. It's difficult. It's often broken. But when it’s present, when it’s earned, it can unlock greatness, just like it did for Daniel LaRusso.
So here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately, and I’ll pass it on to you:
What do you trust? Who do you trust? And are you showing up in a way that others can trust you consistently, patiently, and with purpose?
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If you liked this story or know someone who is struggling with trust issues please share. Maybe even dust off a classic from the 1980's and watch it with them, the movie is currently streaming on Netflix now.
Until next Friday.