Self-Respect: Why It Matters and How to Show It

Respect isn’t just about manners, empathy, or reliability (though those are important). It’s also about self-respect.

Earlier this week, I had an interesting experience at the dentist. I’ve been going to the same dentist for over a decade and the same hygienist for over half that time. During our usual conversation, the topic of popcorn came up. Lately, I’ve been eating more popcorn, and it turns out, this has a surprising side effect: it makes you floss more.

Besides being a hit with my kids and dogs, the constant need to floss is an unexpected benefit. But then my hygienist mentioned something that shocked me: she has patients who intentionally eat popcorn (or similarly messy foods) before coming to their appointments because they figure, “Well, you’re going to clean my teeth anyway.”

Even more surprising was learning that some patients don’t brush their teeth before seeing the dentist at all. To me, this is unimaginable. I always make a point to brush thoroughly beforehand because, honestly, it’s not just about good hygiene—it’s about respect.

Respect for Others Is Respect for Yourself

Let’s be real. Showing up to the dentist with intentionally unbrushed teeth is disrespectful. It’s like showing up for a colonoscopy without wiping. Why would anyone deliberately put another person through unnecessary unpleasantness?

But this behavior isn’t just disrespectful to the hygienist or dentist—it’s disrespectful to yourself. How you present yourself to others reflects the respect you have for your own body, your actions, and your values.

This got me thinking: respect isn’t just about manners, empathy, or reliability (though those are important). It’s also about self-respect. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is one of the most powerful ways to show respect—for yourself and others.

How to Build and Show Self-Respect

Here are some ways you can cultivate self-respect in your daily life:

1. Lead by Example

Respect starts with you. By modeling respectful behavior, you inspire others to do the same. The golden rule applies here: treat others the way you’d want to be treated. If you wouldn’t want someone showing up to an appointment unprepared or in poor condition, don’t do it yourself.

2. Seek Growth in Conflict

Conflict can be uncomfortable, but it’s also an opportunity for growth. Instead of shying away from disagreements, approach them with a mindset of learning. Respect yourself enough to engage in productive conversations, even when they’re tough, without resorting to negativity or disrespect.

3. Hold Yourself Accountable

Keeping your commitments—both to yourself and others—is a cornerstone of self-respect. Be selective about what you agree to and follow through with integrity. Accountability builds trust in yourself and your ability to handle responsibilities.

4. Practice Self-Care

Prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. You can’t show up as your best self for others if you’re neglecting yourself. Whether it’s exercising, eating well, or simply taking time to rest, self-care is an act of self-respect.

5. Reflect on Your Values

Take time to think about what truly matters to you and why. Align your actions with your core values to stay grounded and authentic. For me, one of my key values is competence. It’s something I strive for daily because it reflects how much I respect myself and the work I do.

So How Did The Appointment Turn out?

My dentist visit went great, even though it had been nine months since my last appointment due to some insurance changes after my layoff last year. My hygienist raved about how good my teeth looked, and I credit the hard chewing gum with xylitol I shared in the biohacking post. Well maybe a bit of the popcorn too.

Chewing hard gum with xylitol strengthens your jaw muscles, keeps plaque bacteria at bay, displays a more defined jawline, and promotes healthier teeth and gums. Plus, it’s an easy habit to incorporate into your routine—just chew a piece on your commute to work.

How Are You Showing Self-Respect?

So, that’s it for today. I’d love to hear your thoughts:

• How are you showing respect for yourself in your daily life?

• Are there habits or routines you follow to maintain your self-respect?

• What would you recommend I add to my own self-respect practices?

Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments—respect for ourselves and others starts with small, intentional actions.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day!