It’s Okay to Take a Break from Things
Taking a break from something you once loved—whether it’s a passion, a responsibility, or even a relationship—doesn’t mean you’ve given up on it.
This might be another entry in the "TMI" series, but I find it helpful to write things out. Maybe one day, my kids will come across this and find some understanding of their parents' journey. Also, I’m far better with words in writing than speaking, so… hey, Heather, I hope you don’t loathe me for telling this story. With that disclaimer, let’s begin.
At the start of the year, I shared that we lost our firstborn son, Ethan, ten years ago. The fallout from that traumatic experience is hard to put into words—because when you lose a child, something inside of you dies, too.
In the year that followed, my wife and I took a break from going to church. There were a whole number of reasons, but if you did a root cause analysis, it all boiled down to one simple truth: grief made it too hard to stay engaged.
Heather had been a consistent member of the worship band, and I was deeply involved in teenage youth ministries. But after losing Ethan, staying in those roles didn’t feel right. We needed a reset, a change of scenery. That’s how we ended up buying a new house, leaving our church community, and yes, even getting a new dog—Cody—to help fill some of the emptiness.
Maybe it was a New Year’s resolution, or maybe it was something deeper stirring inside us, but at the start of this year, we made the decision to start going back to church again. The kids love it, and just this past week, Heather returned as a worship leader.
She told me recently that, after losing Ethan, just the thought of singing would make her cry. It was too much. It was too painful.
Giving Yourself Permission to Step Away
Life moves in seasons. Sometimes we’re in a season of growth, and sometimes we’re in a season of survival. Sometimes, things that once felt effortless become unbearably hard. And that’s okay.
Taking a break from something you once loved—whether it’s a passion, a responsibility, or even a relationship—doesn’t mean you’ve given up on it. It just means that, for now, you need space.
If you’re struggling with this, here are a few things to remember:
Recognize When You Need a Break – If something that used to bring you joy now feels exhausting or painful, that’s a sign. It doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.
Let Go of the Guilt – Walking away doesn’t mean quitting. Sometimes, taking a step back is the best way to eventually move forward.
Find Other Outlets – Healing isn’t always about confronting pain head-on. Sometimes, it’s about redirecting your energy into something new—whether that’s a project, a hobby, or even a furry companion.
Be Open to Returning, But on Your Own Terms – If and when you do come back, you don’t have to return to things the way they were before. Life changes, and so do we. Maybe there’s a different way to re-engage that feels better now.
Look for the Signs That It’s Time – Often, something will nudge you—whether it’s a conversation, an invitation, or an internal feeling that says, I think I’m ready. Pay attention to those moments.
The Return
Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed Heather quietly humming to herself in the kitchen or disappearing into another room, only to hear her singing when she thinks no one is listening. A small, subtle rediscovery of something she once loved.
And this past Sunday, for the first time, both of our children saw their mom on stage singing. They didn’t even know this side of her existed. And for me, it was a special moment—watching someone I love so much rediscover a part of herself while sharing it with our family and the entire church.
The Invitation to Reflect
Life is full of rhythms—times of stepping forward and times of stepping back. Maybe you’re in a season where you need to pause something that once felt central to who you were. Maybe you’re realizing that pushing through isn’t serving you anymore, and what you actually need is permission to breathe.
Or maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe there’s something you used to love, something that once made you feel alive, but you’ve set it aside—intentionally or unintentionally. A hobby, a passion, a community, a role, a creative outlet. Maybe deep down, you miss it. Maybe now is the time to pick it back up again.
Which season are you in? Do you need to give yourself permission to step away, or is there something calling you back? Either way, know that both are okay.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment, share your experience, or just know that I’m here, cheering you on—whether you’re stepping away, stepping back in, or just figuring it all out.
Thanks for spending another Five minutes of wisdom FOR Friday with me. Have a great weekend, and I’ll see you next week.