Don't Give Up, Don't Ever Give Up: A Framework For Fighting Through Tough Times

Finding Strength in Adversity: Lessons on Resilience from Jimmy Valvano and Life’s Toughest Moments.

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Sometimes in life, we come back to certain moments, moments that inspire us to keep moving forward, no matter how hard things get. One of those moments for me is Jimmy V’s famous 1993 ESPY Awards speech. If you haven't heard of Jimmy Valvano, he was an iconic college basketball coach, best known for leading NC State’s Wolfpack to an improbable national championship in 1983.

The Wolfpack weren’t the favorites—they weren’t even a top seed in that tournament—but they fought their way to the top, defying the odds. That “never give up” spirit defined Jimmy V and his teams. And for those who watch March Madness, you probably know the famous image of Valvano running around the court after they won in '83, overcome with joy, searching for someone to hug. That moment has cemented itself as one of the most iconic in sports history.

Fast forward 10 years to 1993. Jimmy V gave his unforgettable ESPY Awards speech, battling cancer at the time—very ill, but full of fight. His words, "Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up," have resonated with people for decades, inspiring anyone facing adversity. It’s worth watching (video below), especially if you need a reminder of the power of resilience.

Now, I'm not trying to tug at heartstrings or make this an emotional week for you. Instead, I want to reflect on the idea of never giving up, especially in light of my own experiences recently. It's a weird job market out there, and as some of you know, it’s been about a month and a half since I was laid off. While I’ve had some luck with interviews, it's been tough.

To be honest, a couple of weeks ago was my personal “week from hell.” I found out that I missed out on a great job opportunity after seven interviews—only to lose out at the final step to someone else. It happens, but it was brutal. On top of that, the 8U baseball team I coach lost our first two games. We got blown out in both. Then I got hit with a cold that knocked me out for a few days—probably COVID. But the worst part of the week came when a local child who went to my kids' school ran away and tragically drowned in a lake nearby. That event was heart-wrenching and put everything into perspective.

But through it all—never give up.

We all face struggles. Here’s a simple framework to help you stay focused and keep pushing forward, no matter what challenges you face.

1. Define Your Purpose

Understand your “why.” When life gets tough, knowing what you're fighting for makes all the difference. Jimmy Valvano’s fight against cancer became intertwined with his purpose: raising awareness and funding for cancer research. That purpose helped him endure the hardest moments.

For me, my wife and kids are my purpose. It’s my responsibility, full stop, to be there and support them. Your "why" doesn’t have to be complicated, but it must be meaningful. If you need more inspiration on this, check out a post I wrote about starting with “why.”

2. Break It Down into Small Steps

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by big goals, so break them down into manageable, bite-sized actions. For me, this means applying for jobs and networking every day. My goal is to apply to two or three jobs and connect with two or three people in my network daily. I can’t control when I get a job offer, but I can control my efforts. Focus on what you can do today.

This ties into the 1% daily improvement rule I wrote about earlier—small steps lead to big changes over time.

3. Accept Failure as Part of the Journey

Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the process. Accept it, learn from it, and let it fuel your growth. I’ve written a whole post on failure, but here’s the gist: failure teaches us resilience. I’ve had my share of setbacks recently, and I’m hopeful I’ve hit rock bottom. Now it’s time to climb back up.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

I can’t control whether I get chosen for a job, but I can control how well I interview and how much preparation I do. Don’t dwell on things outside your control. Instead, focus on your actions—do the work, put in the effort, and trust the process.

5. Build a Support Network

None of us have to go through tough times alone. Whether it’s friends, family, or mentors, build a network that believes in you. Find people who can empathize with what you're going through and provide encouragement. Be honest about your struggles—it’s okay to say you’ve had a rough week. Don’t bottle it up. Your support system is there to help lift you back up.

6. Embrace the Journey

Life’s challenges are part of the journey, and each one shapes your story. My mom always says, “This too shall pass,” but I prefer the modern poet Kelly Clarkson: "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger." Yep, I just quoted Kelly Clarkson, and you loved it!

The tough moments don’t last forever, but they do make us stronger. Perseverance, failure, and success are all part of the journey, so embrace it. The obstacles you overcome make your story more powerful.

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Valvano’s speech wasn’t just about hope or the fight against cancer. It was a message for all of us: find joy, hope, and fight even when facing adversity. After my brutal week, things are starting to turn around. I’ve entered a couple more interview processes, picked up some freelance work to help pay the bills, and—on a lighter note—my 8U team hasn’t lost a game since those first two blowouts.

So, wherever you are, remember:

Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please like, subscribe, and share with friends. I’m here every Friday with a quick pep talk and hopefully some wisdom for the week ahead. Have a great weekend!