Do You Love Yourself? You Can’t Truly Love Others Until You First Do This.
Loving yourself is more than just feeling good about yourself—it’s an attitude and a decision framework.
This week, I want to talk about loving yourself—and no, not in the narcissistic, “I’m the greatest” kind of way. I’m talking about true self-love: self-respect, self-compassion, self-acceptance. This is the first of a two-part series—today’s focus is on the motivational power of self-love, and next week I’ll dig into practical ways to better understand and unlock yourself.
Let me kick this off with a bad joke I tell from time to time...
When I’m feeling bad about myself, all I need to do is take a walk around Walmart, and I instantly feel better that I’m not anyone else here.
Yes, I know—it’s a terrible thing to say. But there’s dark humor in that truth for me. And buried under the joke is something real: we’re all trying to feel better about ourselves. Some of us go about it in the wrong ways. What if instead of comparing ourselves to others, we focused on actually taking care of ourselves?
Self-Love is Action, Not Just Affirmation
Loving yourself is more than just feeling good about yourself—it’s an attitude and a decision framework. It’s the first step in chasing down any major goal—whether it’s starting a diet, training for a marathon, or making a big career move.
Believing in yourself is love.
Taking care of yourself is love.
Fighting for yourself is love.
I’ve mentored a lot of young professionals, and one thing I’ve always told them: If you’re not looking out for your own career, why would you expect anyone else to? It’s a tough world out there. Loving yourself means doing what you can to put yourself in a position to win every day—even if it’s just by getting 1% better. That’s self-love in motion.
It’s Not Just Superficial—It’s Foundational
We often think of love in terms of beauty—and sure, that’s part of it. But so much of how we look and feel on the outside is within our control: diet, exercise, sleep, stress management. When you take care of these things, not only do you feel better, but you’re showing yourself love in tangible ways.
And here’s the real kicker: you can’t truly love others—at least not well—if you don’t love yourself first.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t be empathetic, patient, or compassionate toward others if you’re constantly beating yourself up inside.
Honestly, I think a lot of online hate and trolling is rooted in self-loathing. People who don’t love themselves often have a hard time being kind to others. Loving yourself teaches you patience with your own flaws—which naturally extends to others.
It’s Not Narcissism—It’s Respect
Self-love isn’t arrogance. It’s forgiving yourself, recognizing your worth, and not needing constant validation from others to feel OK. It’s about holding yourself accountable but also challenging yourself to grow—because you care about your own well-being and fulfillment.
A lot of the posts I write are really just me processing my own journey—sharing revelations and lessons as I try to become the best version of myself. Pushing myself, staying accountable, and seeking new challenges—that’s how I show myself love. That’s how I earn fulfillment.
A Question for You
Next week, I’ll share some tools and reflections that have helped me better understand myself, but for now, I’ll leave you with this:
How are you showing love to yourself today? Think about the last time you felt truly at peace with who you are—how did that affect how you treated others?
That’s it for this Five4Friday. If this was helpful—or if you know someone who could use a little self-love reminder—please like, share, and let me know what resonated. I always enjoy hearing how these posts connect with you.
Have a great weekend—and go do something you love with yourself.